Funny Stories

[beaumont sebos]

During a certain INTENSE phase of my campaign, I had to pass a few secret notes to some of my players on a regular basis. It drove the players nuts because the contents of the notes could not be revealed. Especiallly so because they were in a very stressful and hopeless situation.

So one of my players (Cackin) decided to have his vengeance. He passed a secret note to another player (Salimon). I saw the note being passed and immediately threw a fit about it saying, "The gamemaster is all knowing in the universe, you can't pass secret messages. If you said something, I would hear it, etc, etc..."

My pleas fell on deaf ears. In subsequent sessions, they kept passing the note back and forth much to my chagrin. They were up to no good and they were cheating... I just KNEW IT!

After several sessions of my complaining, they finally passed me the note, which read...

"Dear Salimon,
It's all f**ked
Love,
Cackin"
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Beaumont Sebos

"Saving the multiverse, one Gamorrean Ale at a time."

[Orgaloth]

I sometimes pass notes to the GM with nothing but "This is to make the other players paranoid"
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"I take orders from just one person: Me!"

"You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."
Du Cass' Dream

[Jamfke]

And it works sometimes!
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Check out some of my games at DriveThruRPG!
Role Players Direct

[hisham]

[Orgaloth]

I play a lot of White Wolf games, so it's a good tactic there, but it works equally well for Star Wars I've found.
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"I take orders from just one person: Me!"

"You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."
Du Cass' Dream

[Jamfke]

Especially in Play by Post!
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Check out some of my games at DriveThruRPG!
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[Camero]

Ever notice that real life predjudices slip into sessions. I was GMing an introductory session for my brothers and some cousins - the cousins having never RPGed at all - and just such a thing happened, to humorous result. My cousin was a female smuggler captain of the "Purple Haze" light frieghter, her sister was her ewok side kick / pet, and my brothers (very experienced in RPGs and SWD6) played a Wookie pit-fighter and a young jedi.

The session started out on a new planet and we quickly taught my cousins that when you are not sure what to do or where the mission is going to take you, then you go to the bar. Everything starts in the bar.

Upon entering the bar my brother starts acting extra macho as a pit fighting wookie would - he justified - and strutted about the bar a bit checking out the brawling possibilities. Everyone else in the group is talking to people about the system, possible jobs, getting drinks, making contacts, but my brother the wookie is off picking fights. So just as the group is heading out to the ship to get on with the mission the wookie spots a table of several gamorreans (2 female, 1 male) who are laughing at the atrocious attempt by the male gamorrean to mockingly mimic a wookie mating call - they all look at my brother's character an laugh.

I, being the GM and his brother, knew what buttons to push with him - and public mockery is not something he can take. So he sends the group, who is anxious to get on with the time sensitive mission, on ahead to the ship and he and pridefully annoucnces that he will catch up as soon as he deals with that slim-pig. He then struts over to the table and punches the male gamorrean in the head, stunning him. After he does this though the two female gamorreans double-team him. Long story short - hilariously bad rolls, screaming, panicing by my brother have us all in stiches as the female gamorreans beat his sorry wookie butt into incapacitation. At first he was very relieved and grateful that I seemingly spared him by leting the damage and the beating end without killing his macho character - to whom he was already quite attached . But much to his horror, when the group came back 10 min later and revived him he found that the gamorreans had left him a parting gift. They had shaved WUSSY WOOKIE in big letters on his chest. My brothers screams of rage and shame were real but made for great role playing too. We couldn't breathe for laughing!

Big brother GMs can be sooo mean
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"What a wonderful smell you've discovered"

[gbjazzman]

Two of the guys in my group (the insane smuggler pilot/master chef and the mechanic that no one pays attention to) were looking through one of the equipment guides, and they asked me if they could buy a bacta tank.

I asked them why, stating that the tank would take up a lot of space in their hold.

Their response was they were going to set it up in an alleyway near a spaceport. They'd go up to a travel and ask them if they needed any "black market healing". The travel would respond no, so they'd stab said person and say, "Well, I think ya do!"

Needless to say, I didn't let them buy the tank.

[Sandokiri]

The joys of our Elite-level game, which I still fondly remember even though I haven't played much of *anything* since 1999.

The first time we came to the cloaked space station, Paradise Lost, we went to the cantina to check out the "wine list" (though my character was utterly ignorant of what a "wine list" was, as was I at the time.) But the hilarity came when the two starfighter aces decided to share some vile concoction. I can't remember if it was called Reactor Core, or some other similar name...

Sienna (my FS tech): "Umm, Colin? Vee? You do know that that's..."
Colin (X-winger from Alderaan): "What, Si?"
Sienna: "Well, it smells like, like, umm, flushed hyperdrive coolant mixed with Lum. You know, it wouldn't cost us 900 credits just to, eh, distill the stuff ourselves..."
Colin: "Feh, whatever. What do you know anyway?"
Vee (ex-imp TIE pilot): "Yeah..."

By now, Vee's already drunk plenty of it, and Colin's talking while he's drinking. Then the two of them, and I kid you not, begin to see green Wookiees and "little blue men" - Jawa station administrators in technicolor.

Of course, we're on the third level of this rather vertically stacked establishment, and Colin nosedives right onto the head of the "green" Wookiee pitfighting champion who had just mauled a hapless 'dosh, and on which the fighters had just made some money. (Sienna had been distracted by a male Twi'lek "feeling her up" with his lekku to try to get her attention, and had since left the arena to figure out his story. That was more serious.)

In any case, the Wookiee was not happy, and hurled Colin like a rag doll across the room! His pride broken, but his senses clouded by teh b00ze, Colin threw one of the Jawas at his opponent, made a legendary (and alcohol-augmented) Str check to do so but botched the attack roll. Vee takes a three-story plunge now, as she's thwacked in the head by a "little blue super hero."

In short, the two of them spent the night in local lockup, and were marked with a strict limit of one Lum a night while on the station.

Colin, for the record, was utterly unable to keep wings on his Starfighters... especially one called a "Penetrator," so called because of its needle-like profile. Nor could he keep body parts; though the entire party was armed with blasters, and the three Primitive Armoured Knights with maces, Colin thought it heroic to jump out into shortish range to attack, botched his Jumping check, and promptly received the benefits of the Maiming Rule as every bone in his right hand was instantly crushed by a single mace attack.
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"Worry to lose is to lead to the evil augury."
*Find yer own truth.*

[Camero]

...and then there was once this Wookie, named Leroy, who affro'ed just the hair on his head and looked strangely like a huge brown toiletbrush...
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"What a wonderful smell you've discovered"

[Pel]

Our resident Wookiee's player fell asleep during an all-night session once. The smuggler and bounty hunter asked if they could shave him. He woke up with a dye job and a full body perm.
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Aha!

[themuffinman1201]

I'm not sure how funny this will be to eveyrone else, but my friends got a big kick out of it. Our group just crash landed on Kashyyk and we were trying to find an outpost. On our way we ran into a group of 4 or so wookiees. Nobody had the alien language skill so we had to fight or run. We chose fight. Turns out one of the wookiees was force sensative, and then we proceeded to piss him off. Then he lit me on fire with the force. The only thing I could think of doing was to stop, drop, and roll. I did and we survived the wookiee attack.

During that same mission our bounty hunter was nearly dead laying on the ground. And then the bounty hunter chasing our group landed next to him and tried to get some info. The NPC decided to spare the PCs life if he told him where the rest of the group was. Since he felt like making a new character he got shot in the head. That bounty hunter found us anyway.

And since that wasn't really that funny I'll throw this in. Our GMs brother was involved in an adventure when someone threw a shoe at a storm trooper and killed him...twice in the same mission. He only meant to knock them out though.

Also a jedi character used to force to make a storm trooper take a bathroom break.

[Pel]

[darkclown789]

[Liam (Gunman) Kissane]

I was GMing my Canberra group on a raid of a pirates' lair. All was going reasonably to plan until the pirates decided enough was enough, and to fire up their e-web.
Our very brave (but not so brainy) hero decided that he could make it to the ramp of the freighter they were stealing, but instead of boarding and getting it fired up, he decided to stay at the base of the ramp and defend an NPC. I should point out he was, at this stage, already Wounded Twice.
He stayed there for 3 rounds in total, not moving an inch, while the pirates got the e-web ready. When he still refused to move....the NPC hosed him off the ramp later.

Player tip: Prone PC vs E-Web = sticky mess.
Earlier in the same game:
This was also the same PC who decided it was far easier to dispatch a TIE/In with his Y-Wing by ramming it instead of firing his lasers at it. With all due respect it worked, but not so well against a Tie Interceptor after the squadron got upgraded to X-Wings later on ....