need feedback on adventure

[vanir]

I've rewritten the Harrin Sector adventure book as a Sourcebook, which being scratch built I don't believe in any way enters copyright territory, it's just essentially homemade gaming notes "loosely based on existing material".

I'm setting up an adventure our Party is going to enter. We're taking turns GMíng the game and the current GM is just finishing up some sidequests in Nar Shadaa. Then we enter Harrin Sector using our IPKC Imperial Hunter licensing to secure local work as a cover for our secret Alliance sympathies.

We have two low skilled Jedi in the group and powerful aliens like a Coynite and Kasa Horansi. We have excellent, combat worthy starships, including some starfighters and heavily modded tramp freighters.

Just to give you an idea of the group. The idea is that our Jedi will further their training by experiences in the Sector.

Anyway it's the first time I've written up a whole sourcebook, I wanted to get some feedback on what other gamers think of it without asking the group, because I have to keep it hidden from them for the moment.

here it is

http://www.mediafire.com/?o9s9nonmrmntcml

[cheshire]

Do you want feedback on content, presentation, or both?
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Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind.

[Grimace]

You've got a TON of information in there! Text is clear. The pictures are pretty good...some excellent, others fair. I think a little border or something would eat up some of the "white" space. There was a couple of places where there were pages of almost all white. You either need to shrink an image somewhere to avoid the overflow, or punch the next section up so there isn't nearly a full page of white, or add some more material of the current item to fill in the space.

Besides that, and barring that I pretty much skimmed over it so I couldn't adequately check for spelling errors, I'd say you did a lot of good work there! Thanks for sharing!

[Guardian_A]

Some interesting stuff. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I have a little more time to read through it!

[vanir]

thanks for the comments, certainly helpful. My skills are very basic, just done on word then used a pdf converter.

I've been trying to create a fleshed out enough sector that the Party can enter and head in any direction, jump out of hyperspace and I can throw them directly into some action, with open sidequest hooks held within the various NPC/locale descriptions.

For example two Party members are very rudimentary Jedi, just a couple of Quixotics who have been searching for serious Jedi instruction in the early Rebellion era, about 3BBY I think our current GM has us at.
I'll be taking over after Nar Shadaa I think.

So there's two possible Jedi hooks: one is very dangerous involving the Royal House of Lazerian IV, but may involve Jedi artefacts (possibly a nice suit of ancient Weaponmaster Armour, things like that to excite the Players).

Yet there is also the Polydroxol Jedi who is active incognito as a local Hunter but independently supports secession from the Empire by the entire Sector.

As an undercurrent, the subplot is to make the Harrin Sector too expensive for the Empire to control with military forces, by developing Alliance operations against transport fleets and station facilities, by coordinating and organising local resistance of any kind, by developing unusual and serendipitous contacts such as useful alien species and powerful individuals.

I tried to create an environment where concurrently Imperial Hunters can operate using IPKC licenses, as some of the Party members use these as false identities to avoid Imperial entanglements when on Rebel missions.
We will go and capture some genuine criminals, such as murderous pirates whom prey upon innocent travellers, and these we will hand over to Imperial justice without a second thought, but along the way we will also support Rebel operations in the Sector, and then just waltz back out right through the Imperial blockade with our bounties.

So I've got to try to appeal to both types of characters.


I suppose what I then need to come up with is a series of definite adventure hooks for the various locales.

I have maps, I just bought the awesome Essential Atlas with all the star charts I'll ever need. It fills out the region really well, since I can find everything that's around it and locate it specifically by map coordinates in the guidebook.

I can use all the generic maps for buildings, city/streets and starships, ie. combat maps.

So what would you guys be doing next to further develop these planning stages?

[jmanski]

I'd like to see more information on the people. A lot of them only have stats and a picture (loved the pics, btw), but I'd like to see a capsule or something so I can have a feel for them.

The people that had notes or information felt more easy to use to me.

Overall, very nice.
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Blasted rules. Why can't they just be perfect?

[Guardian_A]

I've had time to look things over in a little more detail. All-in-all, a nice resource. But I have to agree with jmanski on this one. Some personality notes, physical description, and background notes would be nice.

Looking forward to seeing the completed sourcebook!

[vanir]

Thanks again for the encouragement. I've been working hard on it, rewriting many parts and following your advice.
I've also managed to log star charts and astrogation gazetter for the entire region using the Essential Atlas and Twin Stars of Kira, although I had to customise it for consistency between sources.

I have the entire Enarc Run and Harrin Corridor charted and another lateral routé from the western reaches to huttspace that runs from the system of darkknell to tattooine. It cuts right across the sector, and naboo whilst not part of Harrin Sector is mentioned due to being the terminus of Enarc Run according to the Atlas (you microjump or sublight from Naboo to Enarc then continue on to Tattooine, this was the routé Qui Gon took the Queen's Royal spaceyacht).

It's certainly widened out the scope of the sourcebook and whilst I don't want to turn it into an encyclopedia, I do want to create the definite illusion that there is an interactive galaxy surrounding the Harrin Sector, and it stretches essentially from Abragedo Rae to Gamorr along one axis, and Kashyyyk to the Minos Cluster on another, once you add in all the local backwater hyperspace routés.

So I'm making it a really big place, the region surrounding Naboo. And styling the dozen or so minor systems logged as republic colonies not unlike Naboo in character, it is an archetype for the region.

Hopefully should make a great Party base to launch all sorts of future campaigns from.

[Mikael Hasselstein]