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shootingwomprats
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Forceally
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 Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 12:57 am Post subject: |
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| So far, I can see a pair of edits. You have Sullustan written twice. It should be Sullust instead of Sullustan for the planet and Sullustian instead of Sullustan for the alien species. |
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shootingwomprats
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| Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| Forceally wrote: | | So far, I can see a pair of edits. You have Sullustan written twice. It should be Sullust instead of Sullustan for the planet and Sullustian instead of Sullustan for the alien species. |
I found the error for the planetary name, but did not find the other reference.
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Forceally
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| Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 11:52 am Post subject: |
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I found Sullustan at the following locations:
Twice on page 2 and once on page 3 in your story summary
Page 7 in Jora Astane's description
Page 8-9 in Nien Nunb's description - six times
Page 10 in Tivvy's description
Page 12-13 in Sullust's description - six times |
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shootingwomprats
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| Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Forceally wrote: | I found Sullustan at the following locations:
Twice on page 2 and once on page 3 in your story summary
Page 7 in Jora Astane's description
Page 8-9 in Nien Nunb's description - six times
Page 10 in Tivvy's description
Page 12-13 in Sullust's description - six times |
I went through and find one error. The rest, pg.3 onwards, to be Sullustan and refers to a member of the species and not the planet itself Sullust. I do not wish to belabor the issue. I just want to be clear that we are fixing a grammatical error.
Sullusta: a planet
Sullustan: a member of the species that inhabits Sullusta.
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Don Diestler
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Forceally
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| Posted: Thu May 27, 2021 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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Sullusta? Since when has the planet been called that? It's been Sullust since Vader mentioned it in ROTJ.
Unless that's what the natives call their homeworld. Much like how the Mon Calamari and Quarren call their homeworld Dac. |
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Forceally
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| Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2021 12:11 am Post subject: |
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You have Evaan Verlaine in the title of her entry, and Verlaine Evaan at the top of her stats. I also think bureaucracy: Alderaan should be before cultures.
What I posted in the Moving Targets Sourcebook thread about the Inyushu-class star yacht applies here as well. |
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