The Continuing Adventures of The Murder Hobos in Space

[Centinull]

For our shared amusement, I figured I'd chronicle some of the more entertaining things my that have been going on in the Star Wars campaign I'm running at the moment.

About the thread title: no one in my gaming group had ever heard of the term before the Shooting Womprats Podcast. I googled it and explained the term to my gaming group. Let me tell you, they are a unique group of individuals. They took the term as a badge of honor, and it is now the official name of our gaming group.

Before you roll your eyes into the back of your head, they are comfortable both "roll" and "role" playing in equal measure, although some players favor one over the other. In any case, we have a good time and that's really what matters most.

The usual, more like unusual, suspects...

Captain Stephen Shields - The teams pilot, smuggler, and resident ladies man. He's like the ginger version of Lando Calrissian who sucks at gambling and has a fondness for Twi'lek ladies.

S.H.I.E.L.A. - Shipwide Heuristic Interface Experimental Lady Avatar - The ships artificial intelligence co-pilot. Sheila can operate pretty much anything on the ship, except the weapons, talks like a southern belle, and flirts endlessly with the captain. She was built by the ships original ill fated captain and came as a complete surprise to the crew. When asked about her name she commented that she thinks "He just really wanted it to spell Shiela"

Erick Darkstar - Looks like a cowboy, claims to be a smuggler, is really a minor Jedi. Spends more time off training than adventuring with the rest of the group.

Vektor - Verpine outcast. Exceptional technician, likely one of the galaxies finest, and probably a sociopath, which explains why the other Verpine didn't want him around. Financing his dream of becoming more machine than bug by becoming a bounty hunter.

Bill Bo Baggin - The groups face man. Baggin has an extensive collection of Stun weaponry, culled from the black market, for when he can't talk himself out of trouble. He's famous for hideously botching anything that isn't social skills related. When he is flapping his gums, the wild die loves him. One of the most significant things about him, that the other players have no clue, is that he is a deep cover ISB agent. He was assigned to the group to infiltrate the Rebellion. Unfortunately for him, his assignment is taking much longer than expected, as the group spends more time smuggling goods and tracking bounties than it does being part of the Rebellion.

Tysonis Stormhammer - The groups muscle, literally. The walking embodyment of "When all you have is a hammer, all of your problems begin to look like nails". Tysonis was a prominent shock boxer on his home world until he moved into the exciting world of Bounty Hunting. Trained in Happan Martial Arts and in a heavily modified suit of smasher armor he still punches anyone in his way, the pay is just better.

more to come....

[DougRed4]

These are awesome, Centinull, though I almost groan out loud at the name "Bill Bo Baggin". Makes me think of my son's Lord of the Rings game, where one of the dwarves' name is "Bonar" (pronounced BOW-narr).

The character do sound interesting, though, and I totally agree that the number one goal is having fun, so whatever works for one's group is absolutely the best!
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Currently Running: Villains & Vigilantes (a 32-year-old campaign with multiple groups) and D6 Star Wars; mostly on hiatus are Adventures in Middle-earth and Delta Green

[lurker]

[Centinull]

There were plenty of audible groans after he named that character, but this is from the same gaming group with a D&D rogue/assassin named "Boba Fett."

I blame the Boba Fett thief on Farador

[Centinull]

Something occurred to me while we were playing tonight. My players revel in shooting their way out of conversations and talking their way out situations that were meant to be gun battles.

Tonight we started Tatooine Manhunt. It is supposed to open up with a gunfight between the players and a pair of bounty hunters with an imperial officer. As soon as the script is read, and anyone can roll for initiative Baggin whips out his ISB ID, walks over to them, pulls rank, and claims the body of the recently slain rebel spy, rolling 30+ on his con roll after role playing out his banter. The party grabs the body and is around the corner while the BH's are still standing there scratching their heads. They are on the ship and making heading for space, before the first stormtrooper patrols are anywhere near them.

They decrypt Agent Dana's datapad, find out Adar Tallon is still alive, and will arrive at Tatooine 12 hours ahead of schedule. Huge argument amongst the players over what to do with Agent Dana's body. Vektor thinks it's basically garbage and just wants to jettison it out an airlock. Baggin and Tysonis want to at least wrap the body and give her a burial at sea/space. Darkstar doesn't seem to care either way, he just wants to strip her clothes off. Necrophilia accusations fly and Darkstar insists he just wants her uniform "because we'll find it useful". The rest of the crew points out that the only female member of the crew is a Twi'lek and her odds of passing as an imperial officer are slim to none. No one budges on their stance, she gets stripped, wrapped, and place in an airlock. Tysonis asks Shields, being the Captain, to say a few words. His words are "I don't have time for this" as he presses the air lock release and walks away.

[DougRed4]

Your players crack me up, Centinull! The one thing you can always count on with PCs: they'll do the unexpected!

Don't know if you saw it or not, but on another thread I was just asking about "Tatooine Manhunt".
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Currently Running: Villains & Vigilantes (a 32-year-old campaign with multiple groups) and D6 Star Wars; mostly on hiatus are Adventures in Middle-earth and Delta Green

[Centinull]

My gaming group is comedy gold. I'll try to share more of their exploits sson.

Thanks for sharing the link. I was aware of your thread about Tatooine Manhunt, but since this is my first time running it, I didn't have anything really to contribute to the discussion. However, I have been following it since the first post.

[Centinull]

The Murder hobos make it to Tatooine at least 3 1/2 days ahead of the Star Destroyer Relentless. I drop hints about all the locations they can investigate, and they ignore me and head to the Cantina.

The Cantina is filled with more scum and villainy than usual. The news that Adar Talon is still alive and on Tatooine has bounty hunters coming out of the sand dunes, and we all know how many sand dunes there are on Tatooine. The Murder hobos waste no time in basically alienating everyone in the bar.

Vektor and Tysonis check out Puggles Trodd's Bounty Hunter recruitment table. 10 credits a day plus a 100 credit bonus upon capturing Adar Talon. Vektor balks at the offer, countering that he wouldn't lay in bed sleeping for 10 credits a day. He ponders, out loud, opening his own booth to pay Bounty Hunters 100 credits to just to just go away.

Baggin talks the bartender, and finds out nothing. While he's sitting at the bar, a pretty young thing, named Jaki, introduces herself and flirts openly wth him, clearly smitten with Bill's apparent charms. Baggin stuns the group with his responce "Sorry, I don't like women" and then abruptly walks off. Poor Jaki is stunned and she quitely goes back to nursing her drink.

Two Whipid ruffians force themselves between Shields and Darkstar at the bar, with the obvious intent of making Darkstar's position uncomfortable. The whipid says something that Darkstar doesn't understand, and Shields offers to translate.
Darkstar: addressing the whipid "What's your problem tiny?"
Shields: ignoring what Darkstar acutally said, translates into whipid "My Friend here doesn't like you. He has the deathmark in 10 systems you know"
Whipid: "What's to stop me from turning him in to these bountyhunters ?"
Shields "You could, but he is friends with a great many of the bounty hunters here" gesturing to Vektor and Tysonis, who are watching in interest "Those two are likely to kill you if you were to try"

Darkstar uses the force to spill the drink of the Sentient behind the Whipid, all over the back of the Whipid. It whips around to face the fool that poored it's drink down it's back, and after Darkstar gets a face full of wet whipid fur and dingleberries, he slinks away unnoticed. Shields slips away as well while the second whipid is distracted with the spilled drink situation.

Not getting the hint that no one in the bar knows where Adar Talon is, Vektor systematically interrogates random people. He eventually decides to interrogate the Bith musicians. He botches an intimidation attempt, and the Bith retorts with something scathingly witty. Rather than slink away embarrassed, Vektor pimp slaps the Bith. He declares he's going for stun damage then rolls 8D of damage (2D STR +2D cybernetically enhanced STR, +3D from servoenhancers in his armor, and 1 additional die for extra level of success on brawl roll) He hits the Bith, the Bith hits the wall, the band stops playing, and everyone glares at Vektor, who quickly vacates the premises.

CLUES FOUND: 0
ALIENS ANGERED: 40+

Now at this point I've lost track at how many times I've offered alternative venues to check out, always mentoning the used Speeders Dealer and Powerstation first every time. So naturally they go directly to the weapons shop next.

Everything in the weapons shop is twice as expensive as it should be, they are out of any explosives, and the only thing unique they have to offer is gaffi sticks. Segway into 5 minute discussion on buying up the entire supply of gaffi sticks. Not becuase they want to use gaffi sticks, but so they can leave them behind as clues to throw people off, on the inevitable trail of dead bodies they'll most likely leave behind later in the adventure. Screw the Tusken raiders, they eventually decide not to follow through becuase theyd have to kill the shop owner, to cover up them buying the gaffi sticks as well, and for some reason that was enough. The shop keeper has no idea how fortunate he is.

How about that Power station ? It's okay, we'll go talk to the crazy street preacher and Jawa Traders.

5 minute discussion that since everything is basically out in middle fo the desert the jawas can's just give you verbal directions on how to find all the settelements out there, even if they wanted to, and no matter how much you intimidate or offer to bribe them.

The group is split up at this point, Shields and Vektor are now bribing informants, not to tell them were Talon is, but to tell everyone else that Adar Talon is hiding out in Jabba's Palace.

A few minutes later, Darkstar is on the comms all excited. He's found his first big clue. While at the crash site, he's learned from the Jawas, that Adar Talon is at Jabbas Palace. Vektor tells him he should look into that...

5 mintue discussion that going to Jabba's Palace to find Adar Talon isn't going to happen. I'm compared to Stalin.

Hey guys, want to check out the used Speeder Dealer, or Power station ?
Baggin No thanks, I'm going to tail this Jawa and Gamroean from the Cantina to Jabba's Town House. Then I'll confront them and force them to tell me where Adar Talon is.
Tysonis Hey Baggin, maybe they don't actually know Adar Talon is.
Baggin Nonsense!! Baggin rolls 30+ on a intimidate check.
Me Why the hell do you have that many dice in intimidate ?
Akkik "I don't know where Talon is. If I did, I would be rich from selling that information 20 times over by now."
Baggin " TELL... ME... WHERE..."
Akkik " Ask Labria. If anyone knows where Talon is, it will be Labria"
Walking back to the cantina... Tysonis remarks "You probably should have asked who or what a Labria is.."

Baggin heads back to bar to find Labria. Bribes bartender to point out Labria, Bartender tells him he isn't here, hasn't beel all day, will probably be back tommorrow. Does find out that Labria is a Devronian.

So guys want to check out the Used Speeder Dealer or Power station ?
Baggin heads to the Regional Government office, while the others head off to the Spaceport Hotel and Mos Eisly Inn.

I take a break, use the bathroom, and get another cup of coffee. Tonight is going to be a long night...

[DougRed4]

Excellent summary, Centinull, and it was very well written! 8)
_________________
Currently Running: Villains & Vigilantes (a 32-year-old campaign with multiple groups) and D6 Star Wars; mostly on hiatus are Adventures in Middle-earth and Delta Green

[Centinull]

The group agrees to finally check out the power station, Bill takes off on his own to the Regional Government Office.

Baggin get's to the office, flashes his ISB badge, and succesfuly makes a command check, to get an audiance.
Inside, he meets Orun Depp, a minor prefect in charge of land deeds, and other burecratic necessities. Orun's not a stupid man. He's already narrowed down all the land sales around the time of Tallon's "death" to 3 properties and he's willing to sell the information.
Baggin flys into a rage
"How dare an officer of the Empire sell information vital to the security of that Empire"
Threats of imprisonment and a successful intimidation check follow.
Depp hands over the information while profusely apologizing.

The Old Tusken Fort
Lank's Farm
Sedi Fisk's Property

Orun Depp has never actually been to, or layed eyes on, any of these properties, as they are all out in the Wastes. He suggests Baggin hire a guide if he's heading out there.

Baggin leaves, post haste, and radios the others on the comms...

[DougRed4]

Did you play that part with onlyi Baggin's player?

I'd love to see the looks on the faces of the others, when they find out one of their one is an ISB agent!
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Currently Running: Villains & Vigilantes (a 32-year-old campaign with multiple groups) and D6 Star Wars; mostly on hiatus are Adventures in Middle-earth and Delta Green

[Centinull]

It's not the first time he's pulled the "I'm an ISB agent" con, in front of the group.

A couple of adventures previous to this one, Baggin pulled out his ISB badge in front of everyone and implicated an innocent Bounty Hunter as a Rebel in front of a room full of people. He was completely bluffing, as a distraction so the rest of the team could flee.

His character's cover is evidently so good he has all the other players fooled.

The team apparently must think his ISB badge is stolen/fake as they don't even bat an eye when he claims to be an ISB agent to get them out of trouble.

[Centinull]

While Baggin is chatting wtih Orun Depp, the rest of the players make it over to the power station. The power station is the Star Wars equivlalent of a Gas Station. It's operated by a lone Labor Droid, named 4-LB.

Vektor is salivating in his armor. He has his Mandroxin Droid Disabler in hand
Tysonis points out that snatching this droid in broad day light, in front of witnesses, is a pretty stupid idea and that he needs to get the notion out of his head.

Shields is chatting up the Four-el, when a another droid drives up in his own speeder.
Vektor lights up like a kid about to open presents on Lifeday.
Vektor "An IG-72 Assasin Droid"
Tysonis "The Labor Droid people would be pissed about. The Assasin Droid, not so much"

Four-el recognizes Talon's description and identifies him as Bel Lanks. Says he usually comes by twice a month, and lives out on the old Lank Settlement, out in the Wastes

What follows is probably the most embarassing showing for an Assasin droid in the Star Wars Universe. Vektor wins the initiative, beats the Assasin Droids Dodge, and beats his resitance roll by 20+. A completely ionized droid is then loaded into the back of the Murderhobomobile.

Vektor takes the added precaution of shooting it a few more times before searching for the internal deactivation switch.

Instead of ignoring it, or just blowing the damn thing up, they are going to recycle. By recycle, I of course mean reprogram the frak out of it, and use it as the ships new guard dog.

About this time, Baggin hits them up on the Comms. he shares his clues and once he utters the Lank Settlement the group is adamant on their next destination.

It will be night soon, and they have no idea how to navigate the Wastes to find the Old Lank Settlement. The decide to call it night, and find a guide in the morning.

[Centinull]

Erick Darkstar was dreamed up after watching this video
http://youtu.be/QyYbvVAtlWk?t=23s

It's the Star Wars: The Old Republic Intro Cinematic. If you've never seen it, you should. It's 6 minutes of awesome that embodies everything that makes Star Wars awesome.

When the player described Erick Darkstar to me, I instantly knew this is where he drew his inspiration from.

[Whill]