Volar's Story

[Volar the Healer]

For those who would like to read a quick Star Wars story, I've posted my character's story on the following web site:

www.rebelroleplayersalliance.org/RRA/base.html

You'll find it under database, then fan fiction.

It is all my own work, and I'd like to hear what the list thinks. (3 good things, 3 bad things)

This is also a good place to look for other Star Wars roleplayers. If you sign up, tell 'em Volar sent you.
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Know Jesus, Know Peace.
No Jesus, No Peace

[Volar the Healer]

Well, what do you guys think?
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Know Jesus, Know Peace.
No Jesus, No Peace

[Orgaloth]

I'm currently reading it, once I finish (probably on the weekend) I'll let you know.
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"I take orders from just one person: Me!"

"You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."
Du Cass' Dream

[Son of Fire]

I'll get to it eventually.
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"My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself." - George Bernard Shaw

[Volar the Healer]

The next chapter of Volar's Story is up. Along with the weapons and armour under the appropriate sections.
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Know Jesus, Know Peace.
No Jesus, No Peace

[Crell Damar]

i should probably start reading it... i haven't had net at home til a few days ago, and i still don't have it on my comp yet i'll check it out this afternoon and let you know what i think

[Loc Taal]

You guys should all read it. Good stuff!
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"Mind what you have learned. Save you it can." --Yoda

The original RANCOR PIT archive

[Rathe Ehtar]

I have read Volar's Story, finally. It was long, but good.
Three good points and three bad points

Bad first. Bad point one: Dialogue should be seperated when a new person speaks. It's just some english rule, but it clarifies who's speaking when. I could tell who was speaking when, but sometimes others can't.

Bad point two:Even though the story was long, it felt rushed to me. I would have liked more detail in the later parts of the story.

Bad point three:I think more emphasis could have been placed on the might of the Empire. Show not tell, another english rule, I would have liked to see more terror, possibly from Volar when the Empire is concerned.

Good now. Good point one: I liked the point of view. It was third person, but it was written, for the most part, from Volar's perspective. The audience didn't find out certain details, until Volar did.

Good point two: I liked the detail given to the earlier parts of the story surrounding the other resistence members. I felt it was a real rebel camp.

Good point three: The Imperial side of the story was good. I thought it was an actual Imperial situation when the ISB were called to the scene.
It seemed you did your homework on that part of the story and it shows. The parts where volar uses his Force powers is very much like I would expect a Jedi would.

Overall, a very good piece, er, pieces.
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"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings." -Max Payne

"I don't buy that cluck like a dog, bark like a chicken stuff." -Col. Jack O'Neill

[Son of Fire]

Well I finally read it.

I though the training was a bit long, but it was nice and detailed which I like. I also figured that would tie in to the fact you where in the military yourself, so it would only be natural for you to put some emphasis on it.

But I really liked how you showed the difference in technology, and how realistically the lasers where portrayed. The no visible beam or sound (except when the armour cracked due to the heat) was cool. It was nice to see some actual science in Star Wars for once.
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"My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself." - George Bernard Shaw