Akaris return

[Akari]

Hi guys!

I guess I have been gone for quite some time, after a rather horrendous hospital visit and very lengthy recouperation period I'm fine and back again. That is me, personally.

My GM, on the other hand, had some, lets say "interesting ideas" about my character. For reference: Akari is a 16 year old human Jedi trainee, having lost her father, who was training her, leaving her stuck with very low force skills, high ideals, a few force powers and no lightsaber, or knowledge on how to build one.

However, while she did not excel at combat (though she wasn't completely inept), she was a pretty well rounded character, doing well in first aid, stealthing, perception and social skills. Always the "Goody", she never collected a single DSP (which was difficult, as my GM loves to give them away to Force sensitive and Jedi characters). And she was a character I really really loved to play. Probably one of my favorite 3 of all times.

When I rejoined the campaign, I was informed that the PC's are currently on a mission to free my character, who aparently was captured by the empire, so I didn't get to join right away. Oh well, I thought, I don't mind playing the helpless hostage, so ok...

The adventure progresses to the point where the characters blast their way into an imperial mess hall, only to find Akari with a hideously twisted face, slaughtering the staff in an extremely bloody manner with vibro knife and unusually powerful telekinesis...

I was then informed that during her capture, Akari had been raped and violated by imperial personnel day and night and tortured gratitously by several interrogation-droids, whenever they were not having their "fun" with her. This aparently drove her insane and she turned to the dark side in order to free herself and bring painfull death to every one in the base. I was also informed to make a new character, as this one is, as of now, unplayable.

To bring it down to a point, I felt violated myself. A character I loved dearly to be torn from me in a way I simply can not approve of, is not a fun, or entertaining way to spend your time.

The thing I really hated was that the GM had the power to turn this into a completely different direction at any time. He knew I was coming back into the game. He knew how I loved my character. He knew how I identify with the roles I play. I was just sitting there, character sheet in hand, waiting for my cue to take over.

I left the group and am currently not playing anything. I partially regret it, cause I did like most of the players, just that I couldn't look the GM into his face anymore.

What do you think? Too harsh a reaction? Maybe the GM had something planned to bring her back? But even then, could you imagine playing a character who was twisted like that?
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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.--Benjamin Franklin

[cheshire]

The GM was in the wrong, there isn't any question about that.

Was your reaction a bit harsh? Well... communication should always be your first resort. Let the GM know how you feel and why in a calm manner.

There are always cheap narrative fixes to get your way out of such problem. Perhaps the Imperial forces had tried to clone your character an (as per the Thrawn Trilogy) grew her too fast and the mindless slaughter was partly a product of the insanity.

Going the rape direction? Ew... just... ew. But still... clone... not your character.
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Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind.

[masque]

GM's an idiot. If I have a player who can't attend for an extended period of time, I may run their character as an NPC, or send them off an alternate mission, but I'd never make sweeping changes like that without consulting the player if there is any chance the player will be returning. To add the rape aspect on top of that just adds insult to injury.
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Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

[Rerun941]

Totally agree with the above posters. Totally uncalled for on the part of the GM.

And the options for potentially fixing are talking to your GM and expressing your unhappiness with what's been done to your character (without your input).

If he's not receptive to that, then yes, I'd say find a new GM/group.
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Han - "How're we doin'?"
Luke - "Same as always."
Han - "That bad, huh?"

[cheshire]

What really bothers me about the whole rape thing is that I feel that it really perverts even the nature of evil that is represented in a cinematic type game. All of the face-to-face attrocities in Star Wars are done off-screen... and there are some places where the narrative would just never go.

Yeah, Leia had her planet blow up, but we never see the people melting away into slag. Yes, Leia was tortured, but that was all off screen... and she wasn't left marred by the experience.

Sorry, but rape (especially of a PC) is going too far. I mean, this is why I like games... the when games are evil it isn't the real-world kind of evil.
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Before we take any of this too seriously, just remember that in the middle episode a little rubber puppet moves a spaceship with his mind.

[Whill]

Akari, I'm glad you're better from your medical issue. I'm very sorry to read about your game experience, Akari. There are so many things wrong with that. You definitely didn't overreact.

(1) DSP are supposed to only be given for player choices, and the rules say that when the PC even declares an action that will result in getting a DSP, the GM has to give the player a chance to change her mind. I agree with that especially for the first DSP - your PC had not yet started down the path to the dark side, so there would be no additional temptation that a GM could say might be the case for subsequent DSPs after the first one.

(2) Yes, it's OK for a GM to run a PC if the player has to miss a game session as long as that is discussed when the group begins playing so everyone understands that. I think I even remember doing something like this where a PC had been captured and the other PCs had to rescue him. But making major changes to the character (like saying she crossed over to the dark side), regardless of DSP game mehcanics, is wrong if the player was ever going to come back to the game. If you had to quit the game for some reason and never attended another game session, then sure. But you were coming back, or at least you weren't told you as a player were being kicked out of the group.

(3) Rape has no place in Star Wars. Heroic prevention of rape before it happens? Maybe. But an actual rape, to a PC no less? No way.

(4) It really shouldn't have any place in any RPG, or any game group. This reveals that the GM has serious issues. The fact that he brought rape into his story, against a 16-year-old girl no less, shows that he needs mental help. It is not normal and healthy to even want to imagine something like this happening in a roleplaying scenerio. He must have some unhealthy hidden fantasies that have come to the surface as part of the game. I'm not accusing him of actually commiting any acts of rape himself, but the fact that it came out in this way suggests he has something going on internally and needs counseling.

Even if I were not you but another player in that group (who still had control of his PC), I would have protested that even being in the story, and if the GM didn't immediately take that back and change it, I would have quit the group, never playing with that GM again. Not only is the GM morally repulsive, but he's also a jerk. In private (e-mail, whatever), I would have also recommended to the GM that he seek professional help.

I'm very sorry this happened. Good luck finding a better GM and group.
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[Ankhanu]

Welcome back, Akari, glad you're feeling better!

Your situation is utter garbage. The GM took some liberties with a property that wasn't theirs to take extreme liberties with. While, as has been mentioned, a GM taking control of a PC for extended absences isn't unusual (though I've tended to do as a couple other have mentioned, have the PCs go away for some reason until the player can return), any major changes to a character should always be discussed with the player, whether the player has a personal attachment to the character or not. While the progression of the game is the GM's playground, the progression of a character is not theirs to fully determine. At the very least he could have let on that you wouldn't be playing this character instead of saving it for a surprise slap in the face.

As others have mentioned, communication with the GM is important if you want to salvage a relationship with them/the group. Rational discourse comes out over emotional lashing every time though. Explain your feelings of betrayal, the importance of the character to you and the importance of the game and group... something might be worked out.
If he's unwilling to compromise somewhere, well, that gives you a pretty good indication of the type of person they are, and their need to control... which sounds kinda toxic and a good idea to avoid anyway.

Hope you get things cleared up, or find a healthier GM soon.

[Esoomian]

Welcome back Akari. Glad to hear you're feeling better and out of hospital.

I know just the situation you're in. My groups GM has been out of commission for some time and he is now almost ready to restart a game with characters that have been played for about three to four years. Needless to say I am extremely excited about the prospect. I can't imagine how disapointed I'd be if something similar happened to me. I can understand it if he talked to you about it first and you were OK with it (although I can't see why you would be) or if it was a clone and your real character was still viable and nearby.

The way you describe it sitting down excitedly clutching your character sheet and longing for a favourite character makes it seem to be actively cruel on the GMs part. Darkside point for him.

While I don't tend to agree that rape generally has a place in the Star Wars universe (our Star Wars games are rated PG and blood is almost never seen just like the films) if you read Akari's previous posts you'll see that her Star Wars universe is quite dark and concepts such as abuse have been used to create psycopaths that can be honed into living weapons so it does fit with the cannon of the universe.

It doesn't mean it's the right thing to do though.
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Don't waste money on expensive binoculars.

Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

[Doomhead]

it definitely sounds like the GM has issues. I think that this is pretty mush the consensus of the PIT. I would find another group to play with if able!!!
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"Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and s**t... and Jack left town." - ASH

http://www.box.net/shared/cn6f7sdkog

[Akari]

Thanks a bunch for your kind answers, guys.

Yes, I did talk to the GM and he was set on this. Either roll up a new character or leave the game. He intended to make my character the main villain and by leaving the game for so long I have given up the "rights" to my character, he said. I honestly don't want to continue playing there, besides, I had some other issues with the GM.

I even had my aunt (who is a professional artist) do a super sweet oil painting of her for my birthday which is *really* cool! Now it just hangs over my bed kinda like a bad memory...

Its kinda hard finding a group for anything but the most popular games in Germany. Even though I live in a big city (Cologne), I seem to find only fantasy groups, and maybe an occasional shadowrun campaign, but thats pretty much it.

So I decided to run a game myself sometime later this year. Hope I find some dedicated players.
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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.--Benjamin Franklin

[Esoomian]

It seems like the GM needs to wake up.

Sure as the GM it's your universe and you control it but you have to understand that without players you’re just playing with yourself.

It seems you didn't choose to leave the game and as you've said it's not like he couldn't see how much you wanted to have Akari back. That sort of deliberate and malicious crushing of hope and enjoyment probably means you’re better off without him.

Good luck finding a new gaming group but remember you’ve always got The Rancor Pit
_________________
Don't waste money on expensive binoculars.

Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

[Doomhead]

I wish you the best of luck. I actually got to spend a few hours in the airport at Cologne. It wasn't the best of times.... It was on the way back from my second deployment and they stuck us in a hanger until our plane was refueled. Other than that I have nothing bad to say about it. I think you made the right decision leaving the group. Life is to short to have to deal with idiots when your doing something that should be fun, relaxing and enjoyable.
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"Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and s**t... and Jack left town." - ASH

http://www.box.net/shared/cn6f7sdkog

[Rerun941]

Wow, your GM is quite full of himself. No PC belongs to anyone but the player. You're definitely better off not playing. Good luck finding a new game/group!
_________________
Han - "How're we doin'?"
Luke - "Same as always."
Han - "That bad, huh?"

[Lostboy]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out, If you need a gaming group you could always look into the Pbem games on the rancor pit. You should keep your character and drop her into another game, she is guided by the force to a new group of friends and situations to learn from and the evil her is just a clone she has no knowledge of. Afterall she's your character and it's your backstory.

I hope things workout for you.

[Akari]

Hehe, pretty good idea, Lostboy...

I'm afraid though pbem games arent really for me, I think. I honestly would love to run a campaign by myself. Guess I have to brainwash my fantasy group into becoming Star Wars fans...

There is also a new german Sci-Fi RPG coming out soon, called NOVA. The system reminds me very much of the D6 system (though there is an added "+3" modifier before it becomes a new die, so a skill rank of 15 would be 3d+3) and the universe has an extremely interesting backstory. I might opt to make a NOVA game instead of Star Wars, if my prospective players don't like to play in a movie-like setting. Or maybe create a crossover... hehe...
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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.--Benjamin Franklin