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Tejma_Muhog
Ensign
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Posts: 48
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 Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:01 am Post subject: So who owns the Mos Eisley cantina... |
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...Chalmun from the Galaxy Guide or Ackmena from the SWHS?
Question inspired by this clever SW Blog posting:
| Quote: | Diary of Zuckuss III: My Date With Ackmena
Thursday, Telona 22nd
OMG OMG OMG!!! You will never believe this! I, Zuckuss, Gand bounty hunter extraordinaire, have scored a date with Ackmena, the owner of a cantina in Mos Eisley.
We met over the Holonet, so I've never actually seen her face to face, but she seems way awesome. I don't know much about humans, but her features appear to be fairly symmetrical and she has all her original limbs. HAWTNESS!
4-LOM is razzing me about having a "holo-date" but I'm like "Shut up I've totally caught you looking at the Cybot Galactica catalogue we got in the mail." He didn't like that, but whatever. Droids can't cry.
Anyway, our date is tonight! I'm so excited! First, me and The LOMster have to vaporize an antiques dealer who's late with his payment, and then we're going to jet over to Coruscant to break Dexter Jettster's arms again (that'll take a while), and then I'm going to get ready for my big date!
Wish me luck!
Friday, Telona 21st
So, the date went well, I think.
I think it went well.
We got off to a rocky start. I guess I shouldn't have shown up to our date with my sidearm and repeating rifle, because Ackmena called the cops as soon as I walked in. I started to hand her some flowers, and she blasted me with a stun weapon.
When I regained consciousness, she had realized what was happening, but while I was out, I guess I leaked some noxious fumes from my breather mask and half of her patrons had an allergic reaction and needed medical attention. But whatever. Nothing new for me. Happens all the time.
We went to this little restaurant around the corner that serves Toydarian food. Heh. I didn't know that humans can't digest the sulphur and bile sauce they use, so it was a little awkward. I offered to go somewhere else, but Ackmena said she'd lost her appetite. I don't know what an appetite is, so I just stuffed the food into my external gullet receptor and made with the cozy chat.
I took off my breather mask so we could get better acquainted. Ackmena was surprised to learn that I was not human. In fact, she didn't say anything at all for a long time. A really long time. I guess she's shy.
I decided to flirt a little, so I coated my mandibles with super-flirty pheremone mucous, but she didn't respond by spitting on my food, so... I don't know.
I guess I can't read women. They all say "Oh I'm so tired of dating guys who treat me bad. Why can't I meet a nice gentleman for a change?" But when a guy like me comes along, they still go off with a "bad boy" like Fett or -shiver- Bossk.
Anyway, so I offered for her to come back to the Mist Hunter and meet my partner 4-LOM. She was surprised to hear of 4-LOM, and asked if he was my life partner. I said, "Yes, he's my partner for life. I'm committed to his well-being." We're a team, and when you're hunting, you've got to be 100%.
I told her "You've got to have your buddy's back. Tion'ad hukaat'kama, like the Mandalorians say." I told her about how much I admire the Mando way-with the men living together for long periods, never going home to see their women, etc.
She asked if 4-LOM was a droid, and I was like, "Duh, yes."
Ackmena told me she had a massive headache and was completely confused.
Confused? Headache? Heh heh heh, looks like another helpless female has fallen under my power! I really send them spinning, I tell you.
Go Zuckuss! Go Zuckuss! It's your hatching day! |
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Gry Sarth
Jedi
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5304
Location: Sao Paulo - Brazil
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:21 am Post subject: |
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What's the SWHS? All I ever read says Chalmun owns the Cantina during the Rebellion era.
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"He's Gry Sarth, of course he has the stats for them." |
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Tejma_Muhog
Ensign
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:38 am Post subject: |
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Star Wars Holiday Special. Ackmena is the character played by Bea "Golden Girls" Arthur.
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Gry Sarth
Jedi
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5304
Location: Sao Paulo - Brazil
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Oh, puh-lease! Your question is not serious then, is it?
Cool blog post, anyway.
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"He's Gry Sarth, of course he has the stats for them." |
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Tejma_Muhog
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Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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Of course my question is serious. How can I *not* consider Bea Arthur's presence in the SWU to be official? To say nothing of Diahnn Caroll (sp?) the Human Wookiee-Porn Star.
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Pel
Line Captain
Joined: 10 May 2006
Posts: 983
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:45 am Post subject: |
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I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm frightened.
Hold me! 
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hisham
Commander
Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 432
Location: Malaysia
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:02 am Post subject: |
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I think the Incredible Cross Section lists Ackmena as the night duty bartender.
I suspect lots of cheese cake are served after hours. 
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Pel
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Joined: 10 May 2006
Posts: 983
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 7:50 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps a silent partner as well? Wasn't that alluded to in the Mos Eisley GG?
Oh, and the holo-performer reference still frightens me.
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